Private Chef Skills vs. Willpower – Which One Do I Get Rid Of?!

Currently Listening To: “Make Me Proud” by Drake Featuring Nicki Minaj…

 

 

will·pow·er

noun \ˈwil-ˌpa(-ə)r\

: the ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight or quit smoking)

 

 

This past weekend started a little bit early. I was able to get off of work on Friday around 10:30 AM. I went straight home, cleaned up my entire apartment (I just don’t understand how it gets so junky sometimes when most of the times, I’m the only one there). Hit up my weed man… Then after that, I honestly don’t remember what happened. I cant remember what I did. I don’t know if I worked out or what. I honestly cant remember anything… lol. That’s bad – I know.

Saturday morning came… I woke up early then I worked out! Yep… I am SOOO happy that I have my mojo back because for a minute there I was getting worried. I want this Video Vixen body so damn bad but its hard to accomplish a goal when you have no motivation whatsoever. Glad that stage has finally passed. I didn’t work out for too long because there were too many people in the damn gym. Like we only have 4 pieces of equipment in our apartment complex gym and the shit I was waiting on was being occupied. So I quit early and decided that I would just get the rest of my exercise by going to the store to get a money order for rent & also picking up a few supplies since it was my boyfriends birthday. In case ya didn’t know, I am a HUGE hopeless romantic. But we’ll get into that shit another day. Anyway, I waited and waited on the city bus… and waited. That muh fucka never came. So I went back into the house and took that as a sign to smoke again. A few puffs and chokes later, it was time to go back out and wait for the damn bus. Oh great! It’s raining! Smh… Long story short, I got everything I needed. But I didn’t come from out of the Save-A-Lot store quick enough. Just as I was walking out, I happened to look up and see my bus riding past the bus stop that I was supposed to be standing at. Smh… I’m not even going to lie, I sat there for a few moments, wondering if I should cry or tough that shit up and just walk all the way home since the next bus wasn’t coming for another 45 damn minutes. I TRIED to walk… getting soaked and all. Until the lightning stopped me. Hurried and ran into a sandwich shop and waited in there until the coast was clear. I saw a few folks come in ordering shit, made me think about their lives. Like did they have a good life? Were they happy? Did they live paycheck to paycheck? I wondered… were their lives anything like mine. I doubt it. Anyway, I ran out of the sandwich shop in time enough to catch the next bus. Yay…

Sunday morning came… and I worked out again!! For almost 2 hours! Jogging, speed walking, jump rope, elliptical, leg press, high incline, squats and some arm pully thing-a-ma-jig. I felt so good. All the times I thought about giving up, I went even harder. Especially when a certain song came on… I’ll tell you about that song later. So anyway… I’d say this weekend was a pretty productive weekend even though I didn’t get a chance to see my boyfriend 😦 Hopefully today though because I got some shit planned out the ass when he gets there. Rose petals and lit tea light candles will lead the way to the bathroom where a romantic bubble bath will be awaiting him, the water will be a beautiful ocean blue with scented bubbles filled to the rim for him to enjoy. Soft sexy and slow music will enter the atmosphere as he relaxes. There will also be a birthday candlelit mini Cherry pie waiting for him as well that he can enjoy while he soaks in the warm bubbly water (He loves him some pie). While he is enjoying his bath, I will put the finishing touches on his birthday meal – a homemade gourmet pizza with chicken chunks, seared broccoli, pepperoni, smoked gouda & asiago cheese, tomato sauce, oregano and a slight drizzle of truffle oil (all made from scratch by yours truly of course). Sweet tea with a hint of vanilla & infused with fresh orange slices. For dessert? Me. Duhhh… Nah. But he will have a small pot of dark chocolate fondue waiting on him with the following items to dip: oreos, rice krispie treats, nutter butter cookies, apple & orange slices. While he is eating that, I will set up something romantic in my bedroom… A romantic spa oasis where I will give him the best massage of his life (as usual) with warm lavender scented baby oil & some fellatio oral gel. I also have this nice liquid heart massager by Pure Romance that can turn extremely hot within just a few seconds, he loves that. The rest of the evening will be up to our imaginations… I will be sure to take pictures of what I can. If he doesn’t come over tonight? Well… lets just say today might be my cheat day.   -_______-

 

Anyways… I wanted to do something different today. I wanted to share with you all how I gained my weight. I am a gourmet private chef. I cook for couples ONLY. I create a romantic dining experience for my clients. They enjoy my delicious home-cooked meals at their homes, parks… and even the beach! (which is my most popular dinner experience to date). So when I cook for them, of course I have to test, create and try out new dishes for them to enjoy. My problem is I don’t know how to just taste. I gotta devour that shit. Ughhh… the struggle is real. So here are a few items that I have been enjoying a few days/weeks/months before my new lifestyle journey began, the shit that got me to the weight I am today…

 

Image

“Reese’s Stuffed Chocolate Dipped Oreos with a Pistachio Crumble…” (one of my faves)

 

 

 

Image

“Lovelle’s Comfort Cookies (White & Milk Chocolate Chip Cookies)…” (top fave)

 

Image

“Buttermilk Pancakes with a Rum Berry Compote…”

 

Image

“3 Spice Fried Chicken Strips & French Vanilla Waffles…” (I love me some chicken & waffles)

 

Image

“Grilled Salsa Verde Taco Pizza…”

 

Image

“Surf N’ Turf Burger (Grilled Cheddar Bacon Angus Beef topped with Smoked Gouda & Muenster Cheese, Grilled Onions, Grilled Shrimp & Chipotle Aioli)…”

 

Image

“Bruschetta…” (I love this stuff!)

 

Image

“Lobster Stuffed Mushrooms with Broccoli Sprouts & Chipotle Aioli…”

 

Image

“Bruschetta Chicken Pasta…”

 

Image

“Oven Baked Beef Hot Dogs with Avocado, Pico de Gallo & Wasabi Mayo and Deep Fried Garlic Tator Tots with fresh parsley…”

 

Image

“Baked Shrimp Scampi & Shrimp Scampi Pasta…”

 

 

Image

“Chili Cheese Hot Dogs & Garlic Tator Tots…”

 

Image

“Twice Baked Chili Potatoes…”

 

Image

“Honey Hot Wings & Potato Wedges…”

 

Ok, ok. So maybe MOST of these foods are things that I enjoyed cooking and tasting for myself, let alone a client. I have issues. I know this. And now that I know, I know how to improve and do better. I can honestly say that… Ok. Let me just stop myself while I’m ahead before I tell a lie. I have had ONE of these items while I have been dieting… Which isn’t TOO bad (you don’t know my life). Can you guess which one?

 

I’ll give you a hint: It starts with pan, ends with cakes. They were scrumptious too!

What’s your favorite cheat food?

I got my mojo back!!

Currently Listening To: “Mirror” Justin Timberlake…

 

Where do I begin… Alright. So I have this smoking problem. I love to smoke. Mids, Dro, Purp, Grand Daddy Purp, Kush, whatever. I love that shit. I would spend my money on weed before I spend it on food. Ok, I’m totally lying. But you get the point. I love to smoke. I love the way it makes me feel, I love how creative I am when I smoke it. It makes me fuck better, sing better, cook better. It has been a blessing to my life since I started smoking back in September 2013. Anyway… The reason I brought that up is because Im not sure if it is interfering with my new lifestyle or not. I smoke before I go work out. The way I see it is like this, weed burns calories. It speeds up your metabolism, hence the reason you are so fucken hungry afterwards. But that’s the problem. It makes me EXTREMELY hungry when Im done. So I go in the fridge, come up with some bomb ass shit, but its not healthy. Ughhhh… Im going to get it eventually. Next time I go grocery shopping, I’ll be sure to buy only healthy shit so if it does come to that point again (which it will in approximately like 4 hours) at least I will have something healthy to snack on. Like apples, oranges, grapefruits. Wait… I already have all of that shit in my crib. But i go STRAIGHT for the ice cream and shit. No bueno.

 

Anyway. Yesterday was a toughie. For breakfast I had straight up junk food. Im talking about vending machine snacks at work when I had perfect good oatmeal waiting on me. I be tripping. But yea. So i had 2 Cinnamon Crumb Cakes, Pepsi and some Hershey’s chocolate. Followed by some chips… Then my 1/2 of chicken wrap. When I got home, I felt like fucken crap. I felt nauseated and everything. Weed nor a black & mild was going to be able to help ease the icky feeling. Then my favorite cousin hit me up. I told her how I was feeling so exhausted lately and that’s probably the reason why I havent been in the mood to exercise or do anything productive. I had no intentions on working out yesterday. I was too busy feeling sorry for my fat ass. Then she texted me: “Get your ass to that gym.” I smiled then got my ass up and went to the gym. Of course it wasnt as simple as that. It was still a struggle. I had to shake off that queasiness and find my damn workout clothes which is a task in itself because after not working out for a whole damn week? Yea. I had no idea where my shit was. Luckily I did find it though… umpteenth minutes later. First I put on my workout pants, then my shoes and socks. The reason I do that is because I work out with shit around my waist so its difficult to put my shoes and shit on after I got all that other shit on. So yea. Next was albolene with saran wrap wrapped around my waist, followed by 3 waist slimming belts. Yes 3. I have a big ass waist and stomach so…. Yea. The little short ass belts I bought from Ross a few weeks ago werent long enough to fit this big ass torso, so I had to improvise. Shirt. Ponytail. Gangsta Music. Lets hit the gym.

I stayed in there for 45 minutes. I did 15 minutes on the treadmill at first. Jogging at 4.0 for 1 minute then speed walking for 2, then repeating until the 15 minutes were completed. Then I dragged my ass to the leg press machine and did 10 minutes on that. The reason I do leg presses is not for my legs, its for my butt. If you press on it with just your heels (toes hanging off or pointing up) it targets your glutes. And as you will notice in the picture below, I NEEDS to target my damn glutes because i have no-ass-at-all. But from the back? That shit is wide, plump & has a crease. But side view? Nah son… Nah…

 

So I decided since I did so terrible with this week’s weekly photo along with not dieting & exercising properly for almost 2 weeks, geesh, I wanted to switch it up a bit. Instead of that other boring ass outfit I randomly picked out, I decided to choose something a little more revealing to show my flaws, which there is alot of. So here we go…

Image

I put week 3 results because technically, this body is the result from week 3 – a hot ass mess. lol. I fucked up so bad because of my boyfriend and my lack of willpower. Not anymore! I got my mojo back and I’m ready to give these bitches a run for their money! As you can see, it looks like I gained weight… alot. I expected to hit a bump along this lifestyle, but damn… I honestly didnt know it would happen so quickly. And if you’re wondering why I chose this outfit over the last, its because I feel like this is the type of shit I will be wearing once I drop the weight. Hoochie-fied. That’s right. What da prollum?

This morning I woke up 25 minutes earlier than usual (thanks to my cousin) and I worked out my core for 10 minutes then forced myself to drink a glass of cold water with honey & grapefruit in it. Lets just say… Im regretting that damn water. Shit got me feeling nauseous as fuck right now. Tried to smoke a Black & Mild to calm the feeling, and it only made it worse. So all i want to do right now honestly is get something in my stomach that’s going to soak up all of this damn nastiness. Ugh.

 

But yea…. no more excuses out of me. Just results. I’m trying to get that skinny girl top – thick girl bottom going on (I have big titties so I dont think Im going to get far with that skinny girl top shit – but ya never know!)

Anyway… Thanks for allowing me to rant. Its a weak ass pay day today. Time to hit up my weed man & re-up. #Deuces

Sex and Salads

Currently Listening To: “Change Your Life” Iggy Azalea…

 

Well yesterday when I got home, as usual, I didnt want to do anything except cuddle up under my boo. He is my cancer right now and I have to get rid of him. We have a daily routine for when he comes to stay over. I wake up rushing around 6:40 AM with my music blasting from my phone (I listen to certain songs in the morning to get me motivated for the day). Then once I am fully dressed, I usually roll up before I leave the house. We smoke together and have a regular conversation while he is wrapped up under the covers, still laying in the bed puffing sexy as hell. My alarm goes off… the one that notifies me its time to “clock in” for work at 7:30 AM so I just pull out my phone and clock in from there. I dont give a fuckkkk…. We smoke and talk some more until I decide I’ve procrastinated long enough and need to head out the door. Get to work, fall asleep at the front desk a minimal of 3 times, input some information in the system, youtube, google, music, food, snacks, texts then its back home I go. Usually if I have his car, I will go home on my break, smoke, fuck then fix some lunch before I head back to work. Its nice living so close to my job. Once I get off work, he already has the place all cleaned up and has a blunt already rolled, ready to smoke. We smoke, fuck again, I fix us some salad (well I fix myself a salad, he eats the delicious gourmet wraps i make) and we watch movies. Then he might go off and come back later that night or the next day. So that’s pretty much what my days have been looking like for the past week or so. He is definitely interfering with my progress. Gotta tell him to chill with that shit… Sex and Salads #nshit

 

Anyway though. Here are a few photos of the lovely ladies who are my inspiration. I am not going to say that I want a body exactly like theirs, but I definitely love their shapes. Nice chest size, small tiny and toned waistline that curves down into wide voluptuous hips and a round bubble butt. When I move to Atlanta in a few months, I have a plan. I am too damn talented not to make it. I sing, draw, write music, cook, write books, dance. I am going to get into acting when I get there. Might even be interested in doing a few music videos ONCE my body is where I would like it to be. Just a few short months left. All I gotta do is just shut the fuck up and just do it. That’s it. No excuses. Little results is better than no results. So I need to just do this shit and stop coming up with excuse after excuse. If I wait to the point where Im not “tired” anymore, I’ll be a fucken fat ass forrrrreverrrr… Not gonna happen. But yea… here’s are some of the women that have inspired me greatly:

 

Deelishis

Measurements: 36C-26-46

Image

Amazin Amie

Measurements: 36C-27-42

Image

 

Irene the Dream

Measurements: 34D-24-42

Image

 

 

Kyra Chaos

Measurements: 36D-27-45

Image

These are not all of the ladies that I have hanging up on my walls, just a few. But this is just a slight glimpse of how I want to turn my flabby body into a party body… I know it may seem all shallow & superficial, but i dont give a damn what others may think about the real motives behind my weight loss. I am very shallow when it comes to certain things about my life but if it lands me where I need & want to be, then who really gives a fuck because at the end of the day, its my life… and I do whatever the fuck I want. Blim.

 

My Ratchet Dreams:

1. Get a Video Vixen Body

2. Advertise my talents like crazy once I move to Atlanta to capture the attention of haters, ballers and true business minded people.

3. Become Drake’s newest/latest jumpoff by Fall 2015.

(I’m sure more will be added to this list)

 

 

Do you have any ratchet dreams? Inquiring minds wanna know…

 

Waiting on my Moment…

Currently Listening To: “My Moment” by DJ Drama, 2 Chainz, Meek Millz & Jeremih…

 

So yesterday I decided to combine all of my weekly progress pictures together, this way I would know if I was losing anything or not considering I didnt have a scale. The reason I dont have a scale is because I’m tall as hell, like 5’11. So when I step on the scale, of course its going to say some extreme shit so its like, why even bother? So yea, my lil sis suggestested I do weekly photos. So I decided to just pick out some random outfit that I thought clinged tightly to my curves so I can see a weekly difference. Not gonna front, I havent taken one yet for this week. I already know there wont be much of a difference due to my lack of participation and commitment. I gotta get this shit together man…

Anyway, here’s my progress photo so far…

Image

So as you can see, there’s not really a drastic difference as of yet. But I guess that’s what I was hoping for, and when it didnt happen, I slowly started fading back to my bad habits. Im going to stop though, for real for real. If I want to have that good life when I move up to Atlanta, then I know that I have to get serious about this shit. Yesterday I felt soooo unmotivated to go to the gym yesterday when I got off of work. When I walked through the door, all i saw was a handsome piece of man sitting on my couch and after that, I didnt want to go, be or do anything else except sit up under him and cuddle. And it also didnt help the fact that I went home on my lunch break, smoked & smashed him too. So yea. Im kinda exhausted. I havent had much sleep in a while. I really need some motivation so I can get back to it. I’ll take a picture tonight though & post it some time this week. Maybe there might be some weight loss afterall? I went to Ft. Myers this past weekend and my mom said that it looked like my butt was getting bigger, like it was a bubble. And my boyfriend said the same thing. My cousin said she seen an “indent” in my waist – whatever the fuck that means. All i know is this – I cant wait for my booty lifter to arrive. Yes suhhh….

 

This is my plan. I feel like everybody should have that “moment” when they realize and feel that everything in their life at that current and present moment is… perfect. Its good. There’s no need or room for improvement. Everything is exactly where and how it needs to be. If you pre-meditate that moment, I honestly believe that it can and will happen… You just gotta prepare for the life that you want ahead of time. So yea, anyway. I envision two moments for myself. My first moment is going to happen the last weekend in May, Mama Cecile Day. Mama Cecile Day is basically like a mini family reunion type shit my family came up with in remembrance of my loving grandma, Cecile Moore. So every year around the same time, we all come together as a family (and its A LOT of us mofos) and do fun activities. From kickball, softball, swimming, BBQ, camping, campfires, theme parks, water balloons, treasure hunts, beaches, beach house, clubbing, talent shows, man…. I can go on and on. We have done so many things over the years. And each year gets better and better. Different family members take turns each year rotating on who will plan the activities. Its a blast and honestly one of the highlights of my year (sometimes). But anyway though, like I was saying. My moment is that day (or weekend). When I arrive at my mama’s house. I can picture sitting on her front porch with a glass of ice cold freshly squeezed lemonade that she made herself as she awaits our arrival. I step out of the car wearing some times jeans showing off my newly built bubble butt with some sexy heels on & also a crop top shirt that’s showing off my flat & toned stomach while my hair is flowing in the wind with that Remy… Yea… I can see that moment soooo damn clearly. Im not going to say what my 2nd moment is until my 1st moment becomes a reality.

 

But anyway. I need some motivation! I’m about to google some pics of my fave gals (Deelishis, Irene the Dream, Amazin Amie, Kyra Chaos, etc) and print them out. I’ve already printed some out before and hung them allll over my house. Here’s a pic below of what my crib looks like.

Image

I just wanted to be surrounded by positivity and and motivation constantly. I know some folks probably like, damn I’m not about to go to THAT extreme. Well… Its my shit and I do what I want! So yea. I definitely have all the tools necessary to make this dream of mine happen, I just have to put myself back into that go-getter mentality.

Smh… Nobody never said it was gonna be easy… And I’m not a quitter so… In my Iggy Azaela voice – “Lets get this work!”

 

 

 

Starting from the bottom… to the TOP!

Currently Listening To: “Started from the Bottom” by Drake…

 

 

motivational_quotes_1600x900_73771

 

One of the worst feelings in life for me is rejection. On all levels. Rejection from friends. Rejection from a job opportunity. Rejection from the world. It sucks. And it really hurts when you get rejected knowing that you could have did something about it to revise the outcome, but you let rejection take over and depression set in. That was me.

 

My name is Lovelle. And this is my story…

IMG_20140131_184923

 

I was always a slim size throughout my childhood. At one point in time, I was even made fun of for being too skinny. I was called straight legs because my legs & thighs were the same size. I was tall and linky. I hated my body. I went on to high school and maintained my shape until one day, my senior year, I noticed a photo that was taken of me. I was an average size for an 18 year old but I noticed that my waist was drastically and noticeably bigger than most of my peers. So i was always self conscious of my body. I dont think I have ever had a period in my life where i was just like… “Yes honey! I love the skin I’m in…”. Nope. Not me. Not today at least… Over the years, I grew and grew. Pasta, rich and creamy sauces, chocolate chip cookies, casseroles, pizza, chicken, etc. I can go on and on. I LOVES me some food! I am a private food artist so I am constantly having to try out & create new and exciting recipes for my clients to enjoy. But add months and years of fattening recipes, and you have me at my all time low.

 

Slim Quick, Body by Vi, The Military Diet, Body Wraps, Apple Cider Vinegar, Hip Hops Abs, Garcinia Cambogia, Slim Fast, etc. You name it, I bought it and tried it. I will be honest, some of those actually did work for me. I lost the pounds, but I only saw the results AFTER I had given up. You see, I have this problem with if I dont see some type of results within a certain timeframe, I just up and quit. And that’s what I did with everything. I never stuck to anything… until now.

 

Now i’m on my own routine. I run this show and I call the shots! On March 3, 2014, I decided that that day would be the first day of my new life. No more excuses – just results.

For the first 3 weeks, I did the military diet and exercised. The first week was honestly the easiest. I was so motivated and enthusiastic about working out. But I was being too hard on myself. 5 days into my new lifestyle I was already expecting to see results. When I didnt see them, I would get upset. I dont know what for because I know that its going to take more than a few days to see changes in my body, but I guess since I was so eager to see something, it bothered me when it didnt happen so my exercise & eating routine changed drastically. The first week i went HARD. Eating healthy & also exercising EVERYDAY. 2nd week I slowed down drastically because of my lady problems (PMS is such a little bitch, isnt she?). My eating routine had also changed. My boyfriend was ordering food all of the time from pizza places when he would come over. Instead of me having any willpower and going to the fridge for a snack, I would indulge in the fatty goodness with him. 3rd week? I exercised maybe twice, but not hard at all. My eating habits were bad. Then I went out of town and ate bad again. So here we are, March 25, 2014. I didnt start back on the Military Diet this week. I feel like it deprives me from the healthy foods that I actually do enjoy for too long to the point where when I can start to eat what I want again, I overdo it because I missed it so much. Fat girl problems. So this week I decided to take a different approach. Its Tuesday. I havent went to go exercise yet.

 

So I decided that maybe if I kept an ONLINE journal of my progress, my struggles and my overall journey, it would somehow give me the motivation that I need to get back to my goal. You see, I’m not just trying to lose weight, I am trying to build my body from the ground up, similar to popular video vixens and urban models: Deelishis, Irene the Dream, Amazin Amie, Buffie the Body, Melyssa Ford, Kyra Chaos, Yaris Sanchez, etc. It may seem shallow, but that’s what I want and that’s what I am working towards. The way I see, a better body, a better mindframe, a better life. No more mediocrity. No more settling. Just the best.

No more waiting in lines in the club, we go straight to VIP. Fun. Lights. Music. Dancing. Money. Cash. Celebrities. Flirting. Popping Bottles. Music Videos. Album Release Parties. Events. Jets. Traveling. Seeing the World. Living that good life… That’s what I want. And I honestly feel that it WILL happen within the next few months if I just stick to the plan. You see, Im supposed to be moving to Atlanta once my lease ends in July (I’m currently residing in Tampa). So I want to be top notch ready when I get there, no flaws. I am a force to be reckoned with on some real shit. I have the beauty, my body definitely has the potential, I have the talents, a hustler’s ambition and a business attitude to succeed in ATL. So its only a matter of time before the stars are aligned…

This is my journey. Follow me as I work my way to the top!

 

 

Image

Date: March 3, 2014 | Location: Tampa, Florida | Age: 28 | Weight: 300 Plus Pounds… AND… Here we go.

 

Are you currently struggling with a personal goal of yours? What do you do to stay motivated?